Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Happy Birthday Logan

Today Logan is one. I can't even begin to tell you how that makes me feel. This past year has definitely been a whirlwind, and I can't believe how fast time has gone. The day I held my youngest child for the first time I had a sinking feeling. I felt like that would be the very last time I ever felt a love like that. I had felt it when I had Alyssa, and Christian, and when Nicholas came along I knew he would be my last baby. I was very sad. However, last year I found out that those feelings don't end with the children that you give birth to.

The day Logan was born, I went through the similar feelings. They weren't the same, because instead of my feeling of accomplishment, I felt my daughter's. I know it seems weird, but you know how much happier it makes you when your child is successful than when you are? Well that was what I was feeling. Instead of me giving birth, my child, my beautiful daughter was, and I felt a burst of joy. I have often described it as being a mother squared. You have all of that love for your child multiplied by the love for your child's child.

Logan has brought so much joy into our lives. This year hasn't been easy for Logan or his parents. He started out with obstacles like club feet, then went through feeding difficulties, ear infections, and respiratory infections. However you would never know by looking at him that he has ever had any health problems. He is happy, and smart, and he LOVES his family. Every time he comes to visit I can see his eyes light up when he sees his grandpa or uncles. He really has been a light of renewed hope for me and I can't wait to see what the next year brings.

Happy Birthday my Logan Berry. Grandma loves you more than life itself.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Tough Week

This has been a really tough week for me hunger wise. I don't know if it was the long weekend that screwed me up or what. All week I have been a little over, or right at the top of, my range for calories & fat. I have also started tracking my calcium, iron, fruits and veggies. I tend to be under the recommended daily amounts with all of these as well as with my water. So to summarize, too much bad and not enough good. My life story right?

I'm going to try harder to really focus on getting my calories from fruits and vegetables instead of meat and bread. I've gotten better in the last couple of days about the water, but I just don't drink very much. I never have.

So here is a funny story (OK not so funny). I am teaching a smoking cessation class, and Tuesday was the classes "Quit Day". That means they all had to quit smoking Tuesday night. On Thursday we met again to see how everyone was doing. All day Thursday I was STARVING, and nothing satisfied my appetite. I drank a ton of water and munched on healthy snacks, but I was dying. When my class came in and talked about their desires to smoke over the past two days, it hit me. God was making ME miss the things I was giving up so that I could better empathize with my students. It worked too. I guess this journey is valuable in more ways than one huh?

Tuesday, September 1, 2009