Today Logan is one. I can't even begin to tell you how that makes me feel. This past year has definitely been a whirlwind, and I can't believe how fast time has gone. The day I held my youngest child for the first time I had a sinking feeling. I felt like that would be the very last time I ever felt a love like that. I had felt it when I had Alyssa, and Christian, and when Nicholas came along I knew he would be my last baby. I was very sad. However, last year I found out that those feelings don't end with the children that you give birth to.
The day Logan was born, I went through the same...no similar feelings. They weren't the same, because instead of my feeling of accomplishment, I felt my daughter's. I know it seems weird, but you know how much happier it makes you when your child is successful than when you are? Well that was what I was feeling. Instead of me giving birth, my child, my beautiful daughter was, and I felt a burst of joy. I have often described it as being a mother squared. You have all of that love for your child multiplied by the love for your child's child.
Logan has brought so much joy into our lives. This year hasn't been easy for Logan or his parents. He started out with obstacles like club feet, then went through feeding difficulties, ear infections, and respiratory infections. However you would never know by looking at him that he has ever had any health problems. He is happy, and smart, and he LOVES his family. Every time he comes to visit I can see his eyes light up when he sees his grandpa or uncles. He really has been a light of renewed hope for me and I can't wait to see what the next year brings.
Happy Birthday my Logan Berry. Grandma loves you more than life itself.
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